Dissecting The Perfect Fuck Buddy...
Every now and then I get the urge to find the perfect man to have an ongoing no strings attached sexual relationship with. And although that task should be an easy one to accomplish, it AIN’T! In order for me to feel satisfied in this free sexual arrangement, the man must meet certain physical qualifications: A decent body, a big dick (A MUST), and easy on the eyes.
I once tried choosing someone that I wasn't physically attracted to, but after our first fuck, my pussy would get dryer than the Serengeti Desert and I’d end up not calling him again. *Sigh*
Then the Sex Gods sent me the perfect candidate; a man with a nice body, big thick dick, and smooth chocolate skin. He is a Facebook Friend of mine, but since I hardly ever use Facebook, he went unnoticed. So after about a week of lack luster sex or no sex at all, I jokingly posted in a Facebook Group that my pussy needed a boyfriend. This particular guy responded, and I eagerly invited him over. The sex was good but it was over in about 35 minutes. And like a good hostess, I said Thank You, and then walked him to the door.
I messaged him again a week later and he promptly came over and fucked me again. This time it wasn't as good. He got lazy and instantly demoted himself to the Lazy FUCK category, and I decided not to see him again. I then got desperate and went on craigslist Casual Encounters section to find a Fuck Buddy, but the men on there are Fucking Gross and made my flesh crawl.
I then decided to give my little Facebook buddy another shot, so I messaged him and he came right over. The sex was better this time, but there was something still missing – a connection was missing. This dude’s personality was so fucking dull it was like a 300 year old rusty butter knife at the bottom of the ocean. I guess in his eyes I was just this slut he was fucking, so why have a connection with me? But I say FUCK THAT! If your personality is dull, so is this boring ass sex that we’re having.
So in an attempt to spark some sort of connection, I opened up a "dummy-friendly" conversation about Music, Art, and Entertainment. The conversation was lackluster like the sex, but he offered up his admiration for RAP Music. STRIKE #1
I then asked him about his basic interests and things that he liked to do, and he went totally brain dead before saying "I don’t like doing much, I like making RAP beats I guess". STRIKE #2
I still didn't want to give up hope on him because he did have that big dick that I like, so I decided ask him about Politics. Well I might as well been asking him about the Xian Dynasty of China, because he was totally brain dead about anything outside of Rap music and Hip Hop. But not only that, he added the extra bonus STRIKES with his rant about black women being gold-diggers and only wanting thugs. Huh??? I had a splitting headache after listening to him for about 10 minutes. Oh well!!
I guess finding exactly what I want in a Fuck Buddy is gonna take a lot Trojan Rubbers and Extra Strength Tylenol.
*SIGH*
I once tried choosing someone that I wasn't physically attracted to, but after our first fuck, my pussy would get dryer than the Serengeti Desert and I’d end up not calling him again. *Sigh*
Then the Sex Gods sent me the perfect candidate; a man with a nice body, big thick dick, and smooth chocolate skin. He is a Facebook Friend of mine, but since I hardly ever use Facebook, he went unnoticed. So after about a week of lack luster sex or no sex at all, I jokingly posted in a Facebook Group that my pussy needed a boyfriend. This particular guy responded, and I eagerly invited him over. The sex was good but it was over in about 35 minutes. And like a good hostess, I said Thank You, and then walked him to the door.
I messaged him again a week later and he promptly came over and fucked me again. This time it wasn't as good. He got lazy and instantly demoted himself to the Lazy FUCK category, and I decided not to see him again. I then got desperate and went on craigslist Casual Encounters section to find a Fuck Buddy, but the men on there are Fucking Gross and made my flesh crawl.
I then decided to give my little Facebook buddy another shot, so I messaged him and he came right over. The sex was better this time, but there was something still missing – a connection was missing. This dude’s personality was so fucking dull it was like a 300 year old rusty butter knife at the bottom of the ocean. I guess in his eyes I was just this slut he was fucking, so why have a connection with me? But I say FUCK THAT! If your personality is dull, so is this boring ass sex that we’re having.
So in an attempt to spark some sort of connection, I opened up a "dummy-friendly" conversation about Music, Art, and Entertainment. The conversation was lackluster like the sex, but he offered up his admiration for RAP Music. STRIKE #1
I then asked him about his basic interests and things that he liked to do, and he went totally brain dead before saying "I don’t like doing much, I like making RAP beats I guess". STRIKE #2
I still didn't want to give up hope on him because he did have that big dick that I like, so I decided ask him about Politics. Well I might as well been asking him about the Xian Dynasty of China, because he was totally brain dead about anything outside of Rap music and Hip Hop. But not only that, he added the extra bonus STRIKES with his rant about black women being gold-diggers and only wanting thugs. Huh??? I had a splitting headache after listening to him for about 10 minutes. Oh well!!
I guess finding exactly what I want in a Fuck Buddy is gonna take a lot Trojan Rubbers and Extra Strength Tylenol.
*SIGH*
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