Retired Hooker Blues....

When did becoming a "normal" woman mean acting crazy?

My best friend who is a retired escort decided to try her hand at a regular existence, meaning looking for a job like regular folks, and having a boyfriend and yada, yada, yada.

Well in the midst of living this normal square life, she's become psycho. And what I mean by psycho is calling her boyfriend 40 times a day, and if he doesn't answer his phone she drives by his house. That's LAME. Square bitches do shit like that, not prostitutes. She's doing shit that I wouldn't dream of doing like hacking his voice mail messages and emails. OMG, I feel so sorry for this poor guy.

She has totally lost her confidence that she's acquired after years of being a great hooker. She has no real job training except for what she learned in the Military 15 years ago, so now she's falling into a pattern of relying on Food Stamps and Welfare checks and y'all already know how I feel about useless eaters.

She's so unhappy with her life right now that she goes to Church in hopes of cushioning her anguish. She told me last night that she didn't need a man because Jesus was her husband and he was going to take care of her needs. Why do black chicks say foolish shit like this? I just shook my head. Although she's my friend, I have a tendency to ignore her which is terrible because she needs me. But I can only allow so much of my personal space to be invaded by other people's problems and self loathing. And usually when I give her good advice it falls on deaf ears so why bother?

I miss the girl who was once an arrogant go-getter with the body to die for. I miss the girl who once had athletes, rappers and Judges as clients. I miss the girl that kept me on my toes by pinching my belly fat and shaking her head as a way of telling me I'm gaining too much weight, and now she's bigger than I am by 50 pounds.

Wow, I hope that when I retire from escorting that I don't run into these types of issues with men, self esteem, and money. Hell, I even thought about pushing out another kid later on down the road and jumping the broom with someone who's worthy. I believe I'm more than worthy and deserving of the Gods blessings. All I have to do now is prepare to receive them by keeping an open heart and mind.

I just hope that things get better for my friend and she finds inner peace.

::::sigh::::