The real me...
I thought about this for sometime now, about how many of us have to pretend to be these super smart and witty hookers so that we are not perceived as being victims or less educated because of what we do. We have to constantly pretend as if we have it all together so that the outsider doesn't view us as the stereotypical sex worker who is lost, depressed, lonely, victimized, and dependent. I began to feel weighed down by the constant witty and smart girl posts because I felt that it didn't accurately represent me.
Now don't get me wrong because I am everything that I say I am; witty, smart, articulate, and ambitious. But I sometimes I just want to peel away those top layers and reveal what's really at the core, like self-consciousness, loneliness, and boredom. Not bored with escorting, because escorting is actually pretty exciting. I mean bored with my life in general. I don't have any friends because I'm a loner, and to be honest, this industry isn't the easiest to make friends in. So many escort girls have come and gone from my life in a span of 5 years that I feel like a revolving door. Now I'm a little more careful with whom I allow myself to be bothered with.
Clients are the same, and although they tend to me a little more loyal than the escorting population, they still have the tendency to come and go at the drop of a hat. I like my clients though, and I don't have the desire to have close knit relationships with them, because that fucks up business. I can't begin to tell you how easy it is to fuck up your cash flow by becoming friends with clients. Once friendships seep in, then in becomes increasingly hard for me to accept money from them, let alone have sex.
Once we become friends, sex flies out the window. That's why I discourage clients from asking me out on dates, and I NEVER under any circumstances go to their homes off the clock. I think my friendly nature gives these men the wrong impression. I'm still a hooker first and foremost, and getting paid is why I do this in the first place. I can't come right out and say that to a client because it's kind of cruel and shallow, but it's true. Getting paid is the main motivation, but it's not the only motivation.
Now as I've stressed a million times over, I adore my clients, and have nothing but love for them. But the less I'm attached, the more they want to come back. It's strange I know, but it's true. I guess in the end, in the big scheme of things, I'm happy, because I REALLY am. I wake up daily excited about life and the idea of having a man or men adore and worship me, even if it's only for an hour. My complaints are relatively small. I don't have a substance abuse problem, I don't have a pimp, I have piece of mind, I have money, and I have a great family, great clients, and few good escort friends.
I'm pretty damn good right now!
Erika
Now don't get me wrong because I am everything that I say I am; witty, smart, articulate, and ambitious. But I sometimes I just want to peel away those top layers and reveal what's really at the core, like self-consciousness, loneliness, and boredom. Not bored with escorting, because escorting is actually pretty exciting. I mean bored with my life in general. I don't have any friends because I'm a loner, and to be honest, this industry isn't the easiest to make friends in. So many escort girls have come and gone from my life in a span of 5 years that I feel like a revolving door. Now I'm a little more careful with whom I allow myself to be bothered with.
Clients are the same, and although they tend to me a little more loyal than the escorting population, they still have the tendency to come and go at the drop of a hat. I like my clients though, and I don't have the desire to have close knit relationships with them, because that fucks up business. I can't begin to tell you how easy it is to fuck up your cash flow by becoming friends with clients. Once friendships seep in, then in becomes increasingly hard for me to accept money from them, let alone have sex.
Once we become friends, sex flies out the window. That's why I discourage clients from asking me out on dates, and I NEVER under any circumstances go to their homes off the clock. I think my friendly nature gives these men the wrong impression. I'm still a hooker first and foremost, and getting paid is why I do this in the first place. I can't come right out and say that to a client because it's kind of cruel and shallow, but it's true. Getting paid is the main motivation, but it's not the only motivation.
Now as I've stressed a million times over, I adore my clients, and have nothing but love for them. But the less I'm attached, the more they want to come back. It's strange I know, but it's true. I guess in the end, in the big scheme of things, I'm happy, because I REALLY am. I wake up daily excited about life and the idea of having a man or men adore and worship me, even if it's only for an hour. My complaints are relatively small. I don't have a substance abuse problem, I don't have a pimp, I have piece of mind, I have money, and I have a great family, great clients, and few good escort friends.
I'm pretty damn good right now!
Erika
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