Happy Birthday to ME...... and I was in Jail!!!!

So, that time of year has rolled around once again, and I'm taking it pretty easy.  My parents usually plan this huge Birthday celebration for me; unfortunately not this year.  

Ya girl was in Jail a few weeks ago for traffic warrants and my parents had to fork out something like $700 for my bail.  I've never been to jail, so it was definitely a learning experience.  

So here's the Break-down of what happen...

I was on my way to dropping my son off at school when a cop got behind me.  I saw her pull from her parking space and immediately started to tail me.  So I was like, OK this chick is running my plates right now so just slow the fuck down.  Seconds later, she turned her lights on and I was like......WHAT THE FUCK??

So - with my brother being a cop, I always heed his advice when getting pulled over, which is.... be cool and shut your fucking mouth, which I DID!  As always cops will ask you: "Do you know why I pulled you over"?

And my answer was NO! 

She tells me that I have 2 warrants for my arrest. (I already knew about 1).

She then asks for my Licence and Insurance card which I give with my brother's Police card and DSN #. She takes my Licence, Ins Card, and Brothers DSN card back to her car to run them.  5 Minutes later, 2 police cars pull up with lights blazing. 

That's when I knew I was going to jail.

The cop then comes back to my car and tells me I'm under arrest.  I just close my eyes, take a deep breath, and try not to panic.  She took me to the Florissant police station where I was finger printed, photographed, and put in those lovely orange jump suits.  

I was then picked up by Ferguson police (Where my warrant is) and taken into custody where I spent the MOST Hilarious 8 hours.  If you know anything about Ferguson jail, the women and men are lumped together, but in separate Cells.  I got the pleasure of having 3 of the most lovely cellmates....Jennifer, Tiffany, and some young chick whose name I cant remember.  All of us were in for the same reason.....Traffic Warrants.

Although we couldn't see the men due to a wall blocking our view, you could hear and talk to the men in Cells across from you (If that makes any sense)? So for 8 hours we were entertained by arguing, rapping, flirting, and sex talk from the male inmates.  It was CRAZY!! When Lunch was served, it was a terrible microwaved Pot Pie that none of us ate.  

Suddenly a Correction officer comes to my cell and tells me that my parents paid my bail, and now I must wait for "County" to come get me.

County finally arrives to come get me and one of the other ladies I was in the cell with, and I was relieved to have some familiar company. We get to Clayton County Jail where for some strange reason they let me and Tiffany sit around with no handcuffs on.  The officer then tells me and Tiffany to line up against the wall next to about 20 men (they were handcuffed but we weren't).  Each man was patted down and given a special number by one of the officers, then led away to their fate.

When it was me and Tiffany's turn to get patted down, they didn't.  They just asked us to go see the nurse.  When we went to see the nurse, she just asked if we take any medications and have any life threatening illnesses.  Once we were done with the nurse, they locked us in a small holding room with another girl.

We sat in that holding room for an hour where they gave us those dreaded Bologna Sandwiches.

An officer then opened the door and told me to go to the front desk where I was told I could go home.

I signed a few papers, got my new court date scheduled, and they released me to my parents and son who were all waiting for me in the Lobby.

So the moral of this story is...

Pay those fucking tickets and take yo ass to Court!

Lesson Learned!